Saturday, May 06, 2006
I'm an Evil overlord
1. Shooting is not "too good" for my enemies.
2. I will not waste time trying to make my enemies' deaths look like accidents. After all, I am not accountable to anyone, and my other enemies wouldn't believe it was an accident anyway.
3. All younger siblings, spouses, children, students, and old army buddies of an enemy I have just killed will be hunted down to prevent them from attacking me at some future point in a quest for vengeance.
4. When I capture the hero, I will also make sure to capture his pet ferret, dog, monkey, or whatever other sickeningly cute pet animal that is capable of untying ropes, fetching keys, etc that happens to be following him around.
5. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament to show my superiority. I will not monologue. I will shoot them.
6. If one of my enemies says, "Look, before you kill us, will you at least tell us what this is all about?" I will say "No." And then I will shoot them. Or, I might just shoot him first. Then say, "No."
7. When the rebel leader challenges me to a one-on-one fight, and asks "Or are you afraid to face me without your goons to back you up?" My reply will be "No, I’m not afraid... Just sensible." And then I will shoot him.
8. My enemies are not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or a last anything. They are entitled to get shot.
9. Any enemies that survive being shot are entitled to be shot again.
10. I will force the fair maiden to marry me. If she says "I’ll die before I marry you!", I'll shoot her. There are, after all, hordes of beautiful young women out there just waiting to marry someone as rich and powerful as I am.
11. I'll make sure my henchmen is trained properly and not shoot their rifles from their hips.
12. When my enemy challenges me to single combat, I'll order my army to rip him to pieces. Then, I'll shoot 3 rounds into his head, just to make sure.
'quill took his life @ 10:53 pm
0 scrolls
